The following is an excerpt from Relational Reality by L.E. Bailey Boydston. It’s a featured Speakeasy selection, and there are still limited review copies available for qualified reviewers.
We are the very reflection of the Creator, we are free to express ourselves in any way we choose. But if we do not recognize and yield to the reality of our Creator, we create a rip in the fabric of who we are and who we were created to be. The connection to objective reality is severed; as creative beings, we weave our own subjective fiction to answer our own questions and to fill the emptiness in our Spirit. In our minds, we willfully begin to search for false answers, building a fiction we are comfortable with created by our own wants and comforts—regardless of what a healthy relationship with the Creator ought to be.
We are all a reflection of the Creator. You are uniquely a creative person. We are creative folks by nature, as such without an objective base we start to create alternatives to foundational relational reality. We begin to build relational systems and societies based not on objective reality but on subjective alternatives. These are normally alternatives with our very own standards and desires at the core. And then this can lead even farther down this dangerous path by setting us on a self-propelled course to finding any means to justify an acceptable substitute for the reality the Creator has designed for us.
When these substitutes are lauded as truth, we also skew what should be the most important thing in life—the Creator Himself. When this gets off the tracks, the results are chaotic and, quite frankly, dangerous. We get societies based on every man for himself principle. Everyone is looking out for Number One. And this obviously distorts the very fabric of what makes wholesome and healthy relationships. When we are too busy focusing on our needs and what we would like for our individual realities to look like, we lose sight of what healthy relationships should look like.
For a harrowing example, Consider when people grow into adults and carry parental misguided realities (subjective fictions) as truth, they will also pass them down to their children. What we get as a result are entire generations living under subjective misdirection. Each generations gets progressively disoriented.
But as we know, what is lost can be found.
The foundational principles of who we are and who we were created to be rest in our very DNA. The social part of our lives, the endowment of His character placed in each of us, still bubbles to the surface at one time or another. Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Goodness, Gentleness, Faithfulness, Kindness, self-control, righteousness, and wisdom are descriptions of the Creator’s Character invested in each of us.
But when we ignore the reality He has created for us and opt for our own, these basic truths and principles can be compromised. It can create a generational erosion of the single most important aspect of healthy relationships. The obvious nature of the Creator that has been sewn into each of us becomes threadbare and can be torn.
And if that ultimate relationship can be damaged this way, just think of how it can effectively harm all of our relationships—Husbands, wives, family, friends, co-workers, and so on. We so easily begin to seek subjective temporary distractions rather than permanent meaningful lives rooted in reality when something doesn’t fit out fragile little-created subjective fictions.
When we throw off reality, we live a life of fiction. We are writing our own little stories and we have set us in place around the main character around which the rest of the plot hinges. But then when the expected results of our fiction begin to fail us, we want a whole different story. We want to turn the page or skip a chapter. And as a result, those in which we are invested start to sense a shift in us. That is, if they notice at all After all, perhaps the other people in your life have fictions of their own, too. Mix this all together and conflict is inevitable.
This can easily spread like cancer without anyone being aware of it. It spreads from a single individual to that individual’s social groups, families, and so on. It can then spread to towns, political parties, tribes, entire nations. This has the ability to run so rampantly so quickly because those who have more skill or influence in any given area can dominate others either by force or example. And when this example is followed, we are separated from the Creator, using our own created truths with what the Creator intended.
This way of life and logic will become so commonplace and normalized that we will perceive these fictions as reality—that is until someone else’s fiction seems more compelling to us or when our own fiction has started to collapse because there was never any true foundation.
The sad thing of all of this is that all of these created fictions will one day ultimately collapse. Because without the design of the Creator, none of it has any real foundation.
It is our duty to stand firm with objective truth. For those lost in subjective fiction, this firm standard seems harsh and unyielding even as folks on a boat when looking at those on shore worry about running into the firm land. We can stand in truth and warn people away from the subjective fiction of selfish design. But we must do it with understanding and love rather than judgment. This is crucial because we are relational beings and even when we are at a disagreement, we have the need for a center point of Relational Reality which we all have in common. This is true no matter your belief, age, background or culture. Even infants that cannot yet put together a cohesive thought can be severely affected developmentally if they are not held and loved.
Our relationships are where we have our greatest joys and sorrows. The people we love, our friends and family make our lives meaningful. But if we place anything in between us as our own creators, leaving the true Creator out of the equation, it will negatively impact all of our relationships.
It is like trying to run a gasoline engine on diesel fuel. It is work briefly, but it always ends badly.
Allowing distractions from the Creator’s reality strips us from the sole anchor of His objective truth. His desire is for you as His creation to reflect His creative loving character to all; friends, family members, animals, plants and the complete environment. We are his stewards.
Praise for Relational Reality
“In Relational Reality Boydston gently and matter-of-factly forces us to look at truths that are foundational to life. He cuts through fuzzy thinking and puts us into a place where we have to look inside ourselves and make choices about who we are, who we want to be, and who God will be in our lives.”
—Paul S. Richardson, Pastor
About the Author
L.E. Bailey Boydston is the Retired Executive Director/CEO of Second Start Learning Disabilities Programs in San Jose, CA. He has served as the Executive Director of the Urban Ministries of Palo Alto, CA. He also has been instrumental in launching several successful churches and nonprofit organizations across America. He has spoken at numerous conferences and has a BBA in Business Management, an MDiv focused in Philosophy and Theology, and is a certified family counselor.
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